eraser dust

i cannot. i scream.
but they hear whispers.
the pain, the want, the dark.
how am i to forget
that you don’t remember,
i will never understand.
what of promises, what of me.
i am still waiting,
and yet no one but me speaks.

bliss

these are the days set free,
the ones of liberty of love,
those that most dream of.
shall you stay here with me?
listlessness lives on now
but soon will too retire.
lets let all transpire,
and then forget how.

‘nacht’

for so long i have tried to escape,
but for so long i had to wait.
i had to wait and wonder,
the distance like dark.
i still don’t see nor understand,
i remain unsure of the man.
the boy(s) that walked away,
did they look back?
have they ever seen what i lack,
would they recognize my loss?
I wonder and wait.

the best of the best

I dreamt once that my grandmother was still alive. It must have been a gift from God because this dream lasted and lasted; it was night of sleep turned into a months of living with her again. She was everything that made me who I am. She was my mother figure, my friend, and my guidance. If I could have never woken up and dreamt that dream forever, I would have chosen that. It goes without saying that you never know what you have until you lose it. Her absence has been much more noticeable that her presence. It is hard to imagine that I have never seen her again since the last time. Lately I find myself forgetting…I can still remember the way her caring hands felt, I remember how she smelled…but her voice is fading away, the look in her eyes is harder to recall. But I want to remember forever, I wish there was a way. There is so much in my life that has happened, so many trials and hurts, memories and happiness, all things I wanted her to experience and help me through. She was going to be the one I called when I fell in love and then call again when I fell out of it. She would be the one I ran to when school and work and life were too much to handle, she would encourage me when I wanted to quit. She would be my place of rest in times like these…

but she is gone. I don’t miss her any less. I’d give anything to have her back for just a moment. Long enough to tell her how I loved her. Tell her that I understand all that she did for me. Tell her that even when I have everything I have ever wanted she is still the part missing from my life. I just hope she knows, somehow, that she changed my life. I hope she knows.

Coming Soon.

thirty days of poem and prose about faith, joy, peace and humility.

regurgitation

I dream dreams of rescue;
me the hero and all the rest in need.
I wake from and to this
finding myself still sought.
they lean, lean, lean…
into me they rest;
roots of desperation can choke,
the escapes are few for me.
how can I deny them my heart,
even when I come undone
I lend my strength when they have none.

Ωμέγα

Who you are is who you remain,
shifting circumstance doesn’t cause the core to wane.
All we’ve left now his hope:
hope you’ll seek, find, and keep
all you’ve ever wanted.
I’ll pray you never regret or relent;
pushing through the odds you built.
I cannot see the horizon of your life,
but I promise to be on the other side.
I will wait and wonder where you’ve been,
sure that the ties that bind us won’t thin.

Ωμέγα

All I’ve ever known was never for naught,
for all my findings, I always sought.
No reward comes without first earning,
and little earning comes without a passion burning.
You can find my flame anywhere I am,
anywhere I have been or will go again.
This world knows no single master,
so I raise my rod and part the raging sea
while I wait here for the fire that is guiding me.
Ωμέγα

These are the crystal clear  moments
the days when all is sense
and all sense comes of reason.
this a blue moon season
we may never see twice,
but I see you here, with me
and I cannot ignore your gravity.
Ωμέγα