if it kills me

I have been choking on my words,
they create a pain behind my eyes
and a tremor in my soul.

Sometimes I wish to be alone in this,
to believe I have the only one.
I know I am not

the only one stuck inside their mind,
unable to escape reality.

happiness will damn near destroy you.

I carefully craft my countenance
to create a sense of comfort.
Can you just imagine what might occur
if I took a chance on candor.

There is far too much on the line.
honesty is easy, fiction’s where genius lies.

If only to tell how she disappoints,
how he leaves me to wonder.

I just want to be certain, to be steady.
To stand on someone else’s two feet.

I am the feet of many.

i can’t give you what you think you gave me.

Wisdom says to lay it at His feet.
He will be my footprints in the sand.

But I already know I can count on Him.
I want to count on the hims and hers.

I don’t want to be alone in my thoughts,
I don’t want the truth to hurt.

This even is not enough.
My mind is still caught in my throat.

I fear I shall be shut up forever,
no words to say, no silence to break.

I may rip myself in two,
storing up that which I fear will offend.

Trial Run

I am giving tumblr a chance to win my heart over. We shall see what comes of this.

these aren’t things i usually say

that you may have let me down one too many times.
i can’t always be the one you can all turn to.
that i can’t raise them; i can’t do your job.
why would you do to us what they did to you?
you are running out of chances.
the burden of your carelessness is too much.
i just want you to teach me how to live,
instead of how not to.

Silence

Silence is pregnant.
She waits, wanting, knowing.
When you break her
the world stops to stare
at the disturbance.

Silence is pregnant.
She waits and

thought

creeps

in.

Silence is here,
and she has made room for doubt.

‘sometimes, there are those times, it’s gotta be you’

the twist of the sheets,
my pillow too hot,
unrelieved by the rain
blowing through.

i can only lay here,
thinking of you.
what we’re waiting for,
it kills me so sweetly;
i wait willing.

“I really want you to really want me.”

There are times when it’s as if you have broken a character.

I don’t know what is real and what is not anymore.